I don't like being tall

I very much dislike being tall, and I'm only 6'1 ! So there are a LOT of people who are much taller than me, and I pity them ever so more. But relative to most people, I am very tall and as much as you would think all tall people love being tall, I hate it.

When you're a male and you're tall it's considered attractive, but I would find myself much more attractive if I was 5'7 or below. My reasons why being tall sucks...

1. As a hip hop dancer, you look and feel ackward. It's hard to sell your shit when you tower over everyone else in the group, when you're so tall smaller clothes make you look like a rake and baggy clothes make you look foolish. It is very hard to get a job as a hip hop dancer if you're tall, because choreographers dislike one person standing out, and do not want anyone's height towering over the main act (aka the singer). Yes, they look tall in music videos, but please note, that Shakira is 5'2 and Britney is 5'4, now go and look at all the males standing next to them.

2. Doing ANYTHING that requires a lot of upper body strength is harder for tall people. Break dancing, tumbling, anything that requires you to lift yourself up with just your arms is harder because you have much more weight to carry and much more body to move. And when you fall doing anything it hurts a hell of a lot more. Basically, you have to compensate for much more upper body strength than someone who is a lot shorter. And what really sucks is when all your height is in your legs. (My dad is taller than me when we sit down, he is 5'7)

3. You hit your head on shit. Yeah, you would think people who are 6'1 don't hit their heads on ceilings, pipes, the tops of doors because 6'1 is a common height among males. You are wrong. Especially in foreign countries where the population tends to be a lot shorter. Whilst in El Salvador I had a mild concussion walking into a public bathroom.

I mean... this is not to say that there are no perks to being tall, and I'm probably just oblivious to them because I don't know what it's like to not be tall. Because of the activities I do, I would much rather be average height to shorter... Anyone else have similar feelings ??

What's Most Important ?

What's more important ? Your own success or someone else's failure ?

If you were on Team A, and Team B was consistently beating you at whatever sport or activity, what do you think you would do about it ?

Would you spend your time trash talking Team B, or would you focus on yourself and how you can better your team. The answer seems quite obvious, but I have many times seen quite the opposite.

You know how I feel about haters... I talk about them all the time. If you find yourself talking smack about someone else or Team B consistently, take a step back and figure out why you're doing it, and how it's only embarassing you. Because the truth is, Team B isn't affected by your words, and they in fact may only boost their egos.

My biggest problem I've EVER had with people, and my biggest pet peeve is when people do a lot of "talking" and little "doing."

I usually find that these people are also really afraid of the truth and are buddy-buddy with denial. Because the truth is mean, but it is not your enemy, it will only help you and denial will only set you back.

Wow... a lot of my posts have not had much "flow" lately... probably because there's a lot of buzz going on in my mind and there's so much going on up there lately I haven't been able to effectively get it out.

<3

I still get nervous

I gave two presentations in school yesterday and I was wicked nervous before and while I was speaking. I had so much confidence in myself before the day of the presentations because I'm not a shy person. Especially when it comes it comes to talking to strangers or performing in front of someone. I think that's when you see the real me, when I'm on stage because I'm showing you who I really am, it's natural to me.

But when it comes to reading off paper about something I'm not passionate about, I just can't bring myself to sell it and not be nervous. It's almost like I don't believe in what I'm saying and I'm not confident about it so I absolutely cannot fake it. I just don't have it in me to be fake I think, even if it benefits me, that's why I could never be in sales. I have no problem talking to people, but if you want me to sell something that I'm not sure if they even need or not, I cannot and will not do it.

I'm a marketing student and I've pretty much been studying sales for 4 years, but I don't know if I'm capable. I've been looking at jobs online a lot lately, and I found one that payed well, but you had to sell kitchen ware. I'm sorry, but I'd rather live on the streets than sell kitchen ware. I'd be much better off at a desk job I think. I don't know how people live their entire lives banking on selling something... I commend those people, because personally I'd be too afraid of rejection ! haha

wow, I really didn't know the direction of this blog post at all.... oh well ! (I'm high on energy drinks from studying so much)

Stress.

I dislike it..... but then again, who doesn't. I'm the type of person who doesn't experience stress overly often because I've found ways to deal with things that bother me, and that involves being very blunt, and doing a bit of complaining. I make my happiness and well-being an utmost priority in life.

I'm very proactive when it comes to my life, and I don't wait until I can't handle things to fix them, I try to fix them ahead of time before they become a problem.

But no matter how hard you try, some things you just can't avoid or fix. And I have to admit that I'm very stressed right now, and there are a lot of things bothering me that I just can't seem to figure out how to fix them. It reminds me of how shitty of a feeling it is, and how many people experience it all day every day. It's so uncomfortable, I feel constantly on edge, I don't know if I want a big hug from someone or if I want to blast music and scream into a pillow. I feel like my heart and chest is racing 24/7.

I know what's got me stressed out, but I've considered every single scenario and there's no way out of any of them right now, they are beyond my control. I'm having a hard time dealing with it, I don't know what do ! :(

I exercise a lot, I generally eat well, and I express my feelings but I still don't know how to make myself feel better right now. It's only been the past few days, but does anyone have any suggestion of how to deal with extreme stress? I just want to relax...

Wisdom Teeth + Laughing Gas

So after constant jaw pain and a really bad cavity, I decide to go see the dentist on Tuesday, he tells me that I should have seen a dentist earlier and that I need a root canal and my wisdom teeth need to come out ASAP. He cancelled some of his appointments on Thursday to fit me in and I had the whole process done yesterday. Yes, this is a picture of the monstrosities that came out of my mouth ( I think I'm about 5 pounds lighter )

So all in all the process wasn't that bad, I was high as a kite on laughing gas (which was a lot of fun) I just remember feeling really relaxed and really good, I could hear the grinding and crunching in my mouth, and I remember tasting blood, but with the laughing gas and the adivan (prescription anti-anxiety medication) I still felt great. I remember looking at the dentist and saying, "This isn't that bad... it's actually kinda fun!" But without the gas my parents in Newfoundland would have probably heard me screaming.

I'm not ashamed to say this, but I think the laughing gas relaxed me a little too much, because when I got home and fell asleep, I wet the bed.... I remember dreaming I was peeing and then waking up and being like... "fuck......." And for the record, I've NEVER been a bed wetter.

So the moral of this post is...Don't be afraid of getting your wisdom teeth out (if you're awake for it) the gas has such a happy effect on you that you actually think someone ripping teeth out of your mouth is fun.

I'm all stitched up inside my mouth now, but I'm not too swollen ! Just eating is a little difficult !

MUSIC PIC

Nicki Minaj feat. Sean Garrett - Massive Attack